So... here’s the thing, on my previous blogpost, I officially renounced dieting and the restrictive lifestyle I was in. I had a terrible relationship with food and I wanted to salvage myself from my own thoughts and habits. It was freeing and I loved every bit of it. My skin was glowing. I felt confident in my own body. I journaled my progress, the ups and downs. I reaffirmed my beliefs through writing my goals and asking myself “where do I want to reach in terms of my relationship with food?”. This was crucial when it came to gaining weight and accepting myself.
But, and this is a strong BUT, I was avoiding all the things that would nourish my body. I left all the greens behind. I barely ate anything that had vegtables in it or any healthy fiber. So, it was affecting my health and fitness. I felt lethargic on most days. I didn’t have the energy to wake up and go to the gym. I stopped going all together. Slowly but surely, it lowered my metablosim and impacted my hormones. Now this.. *chuckles*.. this.. was the turning point. I had to revisit my choices and consciously choose better. I was buying more clothes because the old ones didn’t fit (which is not a bad thing as it shows that you honor your body in whatever condition it is in). I started to feel dizzy and suffered from insomnia. I stopped getting my period for 2 months (this usually happens when you gain more fat). So it really screwed up my mental wellbeing. Because when your period is irregular (girls know this), it’s like pmsing with no actual release. You also gain more weight. I didn’t hate how I look but I compared myself a lot. I even considered liposuction. It just seems the easier way out.
To solve all of these issues, I had to rely on a fitness expert and a diet coach. I found someone who suffered the same condition as me (Polycystic Ovary) and she worked on a plan that best suits me and my lifestyle. I’ll probably share my progress after one month of completing the program.
The reason why I’m writing this is because I believe in owning up to my own mistakes. I now have a better perspective on dieting and diet culture. I don’t want to encourage something that is counterintuitive. I want you to be able to live your best life and have the body you want. I think it’s best to do what feels right to you. If it’s eating intuitively, then do. If it’s dieting and gym, then do. I think jounaling really helps either way.
Anyways.. all the best to YOU, you wonderful human YOU! ;)
